doctor administered his shots. Z laughed and smiled imagining her beloved college-aged cousin as the protagonist of this story. M went on to talk about getting vaccinations now as a grown up and shared that even if the injection pinched or hurt for a moment, it would only be an instant and then she would be fine. Z seemed ok until we hung up the phone. Then the tears started again in earnest. She imagined gigantic needles (and would probably still tell you they were big, although not relative to ones I've had!) and excruciating pain. Post yearly checkup with two neon band-aids, my daughter was fine but we did not get there with ease.
What gives one person the ability to step towards challenge and run into the waves while another sits temporarily paralyzed with crocodile tears? The Talmudic debate about the experience of the Israelites at the shores of the sea as they prepare to leave Egypt addresses this question. Rabbi Meir said, When the Israelites stood by the Sea of Reeds the tribes fought with one another. This one said, I will go into the sea first. Another one said, I will go into the sea first! Then the tribe of Benjamin jumped down into the sea ahead of the others. R. Meir experiences a people so eager with anticipation they cannot get to the front of the line fast enough. Rabbi Judah tells a different story. This is not what happened, he says. Each tribe said in turn, I will not be the first to go into the sea. I will not go first into the sea! Finally, Nahshon ben Aminadav (of the tribe of Judah) jumped forward into the sea. Unlinke R. Meir, R. Judah describes people filled with anxiety about the unknown, happy to have someone else take the first step into the future.
As a people, we hold both these stories - hope and courage alongside hesitation and fear. But stories are stories. Life demands action. We get to action through conversation and relationship. By hearing one another, sharing experiences and helping to infuse fear with love. There's no telling of the Exodus without a role for Gd, instructing Moses and urging us on. In fact, the Talmud goes on to say that while the people tried to figure out how to enter the sea (as described above), Moses was reciting prayers. Gd responds in shock and consternation. What are you doing sitting and praying at this time? Tell the people to move forward. Lift up your staff and stretch out your hand. The Holy One reminds Moses that we cannot wait for change nor can we pray for change alone. We have to unstick ourselves, move, and, as Peloton instructor Robin Arzon would say, put on your crown and save yourself.
The Exodus from Egypt teaches us about taking our own agency to step towards the future, an imagining that is safe and sacred and filled with promise. As we find ourselves on the shores of the sea in this new year, may we be blessed with caring family, friends and community members - the ones we know and the ones yet to be - who propel us into the future with hope, with love, and even with laughter.
Shabbat Shalom
rg
