you say, She is my sister?' Isaac responded, 'Because I thought I might lose my life because of her.' (Genesis 26:8-9) Not only does Isaac ignore the potential for harm to his wife, he disregards the Philistines as well. Abimelech said, 'What have you done to us! One of the people might have lain with your wife and you would have brought guilt upon us.' (Genesis 26:10) Isaac lies to preserve his sense of well-being and establish himself in the surrounding community.
What kind of untruths do we share with others and ourselves to maintain a certain belief or perception? A brief email to friends yielded the following:
-- We've had COVID-19 already so there's no need for us to wear masks or be careful at all.-- The junk food I eat is balanced by the exercise I do.
-- I'm sick of wearing a mask and more people die in car accidents than die from COVID-19.
-- Crumbs have no calories.
Humans rationalize and practice self-deception all the time to help affirm our sense of well-being. We trick ourselves into believing we are making good choices. In our parasha, Isaac's choice to pass his wife off as his sister happens immediately following Gd's promise to uphold the covenant with Abraham for the ages. Not only that, Isaac shines light on the lie by engaging in playful ways with Rebecca in plain sight. Such deception reflects human weakness and an inclination to explain away poor choice that takes neither the well-being of the other nor even oneself as seriously as possible.
Note that Gd is absent in the exchange regarding Isaac and Rebecca. Isaac is left to fend for himself, precisely what he set out to avoid. A reminder, perhaps, that the holy does not surround us in our fraudulent actions. Deceit is not for the greater good. It might hold us for a while until we have the courage to look in the mirror and truly see ourselves and our worth, appreciating the holy reflected back at us as a reminder of who and what is at stake.
Over a quarter million human souls have died from coronavirus in the United States alone. New York City Schools shuttered their doors and moved on-line. As a people, Gd's humanity, we are suffering, physically and spiritually. We may be inclined to throw our hands up and say, I'm tired of wearing a mask. I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want, without any exercise because it just does not matter any more in these dark days approaching winter. When and if you feel that way, breathe out - hard. Release what's holding you and remember that you are worthy and those around you are worthy. It is on all of us to face hard truths and remember that fear can lead to self-deception.
All of us face unwelcome terrain. It is up to us to choose how to walk. Lies, even those learned from our parents will ultimately be our undoing. When we choose to follow the instruction of Pema Chodron's teacher and
put the fearful mind in the cradle of loving-kindness, holding ourselves and others with wise and gentle care, we open our hearts and our world to the possibility of blessing through the generations.
Shabbat Shalom
rg
