Over the High Holy Days, I challenged the community to think about what kind of ancestor they wanted to be. Remember some of the responses: The One Who Sees Humanity in Everyone No Matter Their Work. The One Who Maintains Humanity in Time of Crisis. The One Who Creates Refuge for Those in Need. The One Who Strives to Bring Love Into The World. With the death last week of my friends' father, I want to add The One Who Builds Community That Takes Care of People.
Neil Schneider z'l put his energy into taking care of
others. Like Avraham, he practically waited at the door to see who would pass by so he could extend greetings and offer support. His generosity set an example for his family, his friends and his myriad communities. His commitment to friendship and hospitality exemplified what it means to create a web of inclusion. I was blessed to be the beneficiary of that generosity when I lived in Seattle and even since, through his actions and those of his children who learned from their father how to be in the world.
In our Shabbat siddur/prayer-book, we find a special prayer for mi she'oskim b'tazrchay tzibur/those who dedicate themselves to the needs of the community, feeding the hungry, providing tzedakah for the poor and shelter for those without homes. Our tradition models what it means to nurture and nourish a community that takes responsibility for its members, calling to check in, offering zoom tutorials, passing down clothes and extending prayers and assistance to those in need. This is community that thinks beyond itself, seeing people as sacred souls not defined by what they wear or where they live. This is how tradition describes Avraham and Sarah with their open tent to welcome people into their realm and build something bigger than they could on their own.
This week's parasha begins vayih'yu hayyei Sarah, me'ah shanah v'esrim shanah v'sheva shanim/The span of Sarah's lifetime was 127 years. Sh'nai hayyei Sarah/These are the years of Sarah's lives. Looking at the words carefully, we note the reference to the years of Sarah's lives. Lives? How many lives did she live? Bahya Ibn Pakuda, Spanish philosopher of the 11thc. suggests the use of the word lives reminds us that we live different lives within the entirety of our lifespan. Each unit can be understood as a chapter in an evolving experience that makes a life.
Attending shiva minyanim throughout this week, I learned more about the stages of Neil's life. Friendship, giving voice to those in need, commitment to the Jewish people in Israel and elsewhere remained consistent throughout. These threads were woven into his many lives. With humor, a gruff exterior and a compassionate interior, he nurtured the foundation of a multigenerational and multidimensional community. May we all be blessed with pirkei ahavah, many loving chapters in an expanse of life that may be described as the years of our lives.
Shabbat Shalom rg
Congregation Habonim 103 West End Ave New York, NY 10023
