approached six months in quarantine. Apart from kids her age. Seeing people mostly on FaceTime, Zoom, out the window and from far away. Pen pal arrangements did not come to fruition. Hoped for pets did not make their way to our home. In all of this she felt forgotten.
The rabbis understand forgetting as a kind of losing. As they said, someone who forgets, loses. At this time of year, we engage in a process of searching for what we've lost. We've lost sight of who we are. We've lost the sense of what we are made. We feel far from what makes us happy and do not see the path back with ease. Heshbon Hanefesh/searching the soul leads us on the path to t'shuvah/return so we may know ourselves most deeply once again. As I mentioned in shul earlier this summer, the Torah holds us accountable to one another in our search for what is lost. In this week's parasha, Ki Teitzei we are reminded that we must not remain indifferent to what is lost. Whether that be an ox, sheep, donkey, clothing, etc. (Deut. 22:1-3) or a sense of self or inspiration, we are called to help one another search, find and return what has been lost.
Well, let that lonely feeling wash away. Maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay. 'Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand. You can reach, reach out your hand. As family, friends and community members, we are responsible for seeing (as our recent parasha Re'eh reminds us) what is before us. In our own messiness and struggle. In our own celebration and joy. In our own business and responsibility, we must be attuned to others, to notice when someone does not appear as they used to, to see fingertips reaching out into the world. It is on us to bend down in blessing (baruch!) to lift up the other. And oh, someone will come running. And I know, they'll take you home. Even when the dark comes crashing through. When you need a friend to carry you. And when you're broken on the ground, You will be found.
The search also belongs to us, for our own selves. Even from our depths, we are called to notice the light that breaks through broken places. When we have the strength, we can open the shades, pull back the curtains and see the world and its potential. So let the sun come streaming in. 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again. Lift your head and look around. You will be found. T'shuvah is about returning to the potential within. Letting the sun nourish our souls and thaw the frozen heart. It is re-finding the spark within and allowing it to light up our truest selves.
In our daily prayers we say hamihadesh b'tuvo b'chol yom tamid ma'aseh v'rayshit/Every day the Holy Divine One renews creation in goodness. Every day a gift, the chance for renewal. These words remind us to open to what might be. Gd renews creation in goodness, not in exact sameness. Looking around, we may see things differently. Lifting ourselves up, we may find others stepping towards us. Feeling the sun on our face, we can receive the day as a gift to grow.
So let the sun come streaming in. 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again. If you only look around. You will be found. Out of the shadows. The morning is breaking. And all is new, all is new. It's filling up the empty. And suddenly I see that all is new, all is new. Less than 3 days outside of the city, with cats and a pool, my daughter's spark returned with the sun. Laughter filled the house and she again smiled from the inside out. Lo tuchal l'hitalem (Deut 22:3). I could not remain indifferent. We were privileged to watch our friends' home where my daughter opened again to joy and fulfillment, play and the honor of caring for Gd's creatures.
You are not alone. We take responsibility for helping one another find what is lost.
You are not alone. We sustain connection to what is lost.
You are not alone. The divine presence resides within us as we search, find and return to our lost items and lost selves.
This year, may our searches be for good each day in the world, lifting us up so that we may say with certainty, You will be found.
Shabbat Shalom
rg
@with thanks to Rabbi Yael Ridberg whose Torah aligned with what I'd been preparing for this week.
Song begins at 2:15:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_10msPMEick
